OMG! It's been a little bit since I've even logged on to my blog! So what's going on in my life. Well, basically work, work, work, kids, kids, kids! No rest for the weary! My kids are loving school. They're both getting straight A's and perfect attendance. Luke LOVES to read! He loves Magic Treehouse books and read one on Abraham Lincoln. He now loves to learn about ole Abe! So, we went to the Abraham Lincoln Museum in Springfield last weekend. He loved it! He loves history! That's my boy...as I do too! I love that he loves to read! ON the same day we went to Springfield, Dallas and Jack head up to get a side by side. He bought it off of e-bay. So, I suspect we'll have some good times this summer!

What day is it?

After being sick since Thurs afternoon...I'm not sure what day it is. I have missed out on the entire Labor day weekend. Sinus infections..who knew they could be so killer...mine likes to go to my chest and ended up doing quite a few breathing treatments. Thank God for my parents who came to my rescue sat afternoon and came and got the boys so I could rest. Dallas had gone on a big ride and he did offer to stay home..at the time Ifelt ok and he had his heart set on going. About 2 hrs after he left...it quickly became evident that i couldnt. Dad came and got the boys for a few hours. Dallas has been great keeping boys out of my hair the rest of the weekend...he is a good man..love him! Not sure whatI would have done anyway since it rained all weekend..even though we desperately needed it. I felt awful because I didnt make it to my great aunts funeral since I was sick. So back to work tomorrow...right? It will be Tuesday, the day after labor day. Ugghhh! Having said that I really can't stop thinking about a private practice! It will happen..just gonna take some time. Today would have been my buddies birthday! Tammy hope you celebrated big up in heaven. If she were still here on this earth I think I would have taken her out to eat, some shopping and maybe a pedi! So many great memories of her! We became best buds in 5th grade b/c teacher had us sit together..thanks Mrs. Burgener! Love ya buddy!

Wow! It has been a long time! Just wanted to update on my Dad's leukemia, he is doing really well. He's still working and going to his fave...Bluegrass festivals! Maybe I'm really glad he isn't doing the chemo. He goes back to see his dr in September and doc will check his blood of course and see where his numbers are. The boys started back to school on August 13th. Jack started Kindergarten. He acted like it was really no big deal though..after all he did go to 2 years of Pre-K..he big man on campus! He likes it though, however he is so tired in the evenings. Luke is in 2nd grade and of course loves it and his teacher! I think he's going to be my fashionista though..he's so worried about what he wears some days and wanted his hair "spiked" the first few days of school. I had to buy him some hair gel...really..he is 7! But I did...I actually thought it was pretty cute that he wanted it done. The summer flew by so fast. Our vacation consisted of a day to Holiday World. Wish we could have done more, but my work tends to be very busy in the summer and Dallas gets very limited time off. Here's some summer pics:

The boys with the neighbor's baby coon--JC!

Jack being goofy with his swim goggles!

walking around the pond early one morning..it was very serene!

When life throws you lemons....

It seems as if life has thrown a few lemons lately. We're trying to figure out a way to make lemonade out of those lemons, but I'm not sure it's possible. On Friday, April 13th, my Dad was diagnosed with leukemia. Wow...not expecting that! He's doing rather well, despite the diagnosis. It's Chronic Lymphocitic Leukemia. Not as aggressive as acute, but still it's Leukemia. His dr. said it's not cureable, but definitely treatable. Here's where the major lemons come in: Dad does NOT want to do chemo. To say the least I'm angry about that. I'm trying to remain optimistic that he will change his mind, as the dr. said it's a very mild chemo. Dad recently spoke with another patient who has the same diagnosis as he and was a little more optimistic after talking with that patient. Dad just turned 73 on May 2nd. He still works 40+ hours a week at Doll's. He's feeling good, and loves coming the boys' baseball games. I think we, as children of parents who seem like they're made of steel, never think the day will come when the big "C" word arrives or that something will happen to your family. But it does. I've had so many thoughts going through my head, that it feels like it could explode. Family support is great...if you have people who get along that is. It's no secret that me and my younger sister do not get along. (yes, there it is in black and white for all the (blog) world to see)...'m not sugar coat anything. Anyway, that could be a whole other blog story...not gonna go there at the moment. Lost our babysitter a few weeks ago. Long story short..it was a good thing! The boys are happier...I am happier! On top of the above stuff, it's almost end of the fiscal year at work. That means prepping myself for the over $50 million in projected cuts to the Mental Health System. It seems as if the MH system is going to hell in a handbasket..and fast!

Vegas Baby!

Dallas and I took a trip to Las Vegas! It was wonderful! Here's a few pics....

Yes God, I'm listening...

God, he's funny, he works so subtly and sometimes a smack upside the head.....

So today I read an update of a CaringBridge journal that I read as soon as there is an update. Brandy Lewis-Will, who was suffering from lung cancer for over the past year or so passed away today. I did not know her. I only knew of her. I learned that she was such a strong, courageous and optimistic person, even though she probably knew cancer would be her demise. I admired her so much. I doubt I would have even had even close to the amount of courage and optimism she had. She was around the same age as I and had 3 children and a husband. So sad. So sad that she will not get to see her kids grow up, go to Prom, graduate, get married, see her grandchildren. Cancer sucks!!!!!! May she now rest in peace.

Life is too short...I need to really realize that!

It's been a while....

...therefore..here comes a bullet post!

*Another wonderful Christmas has come and gone
*Dallas and I are headed to Las Vegas in February...I can't wait!!!
*The boys are growing like weeds and never cease to amaze me...they are wiz kids on video games..both can play a mean Wii and Nintendo DS game no problem..while mama sits in amazement like wow, wish I could do that! Ha!
*I really think Luke could read War & Peace no problem..LOL! Really, he's an excellent reader! And so far is making straight A's in First Grade!
*Jack is doing better at listening. He's very strong willed and when he gets his mind set on something, it's his way or the highway..but he is getting a little better. He got his own Nintendo DS for Christmas (no more fighting over Luke's) and a pair of boots that he is so proud of!

*November 20-25 I was hospitalized with pneumonia. It was horrible. I'm better now. Thanks to all who helped us out while I was in the hospital...thanks God for my parents!

ZBB!

I saw Zac Brown Band in concert! It was an awesome concert!

Retreat

This past weekend I attended a Quiet Retreat in Belleville at The King's House. It was wonderful! When asked by my family if I had fun, I said it wasn't a "fun" retreat. It was very much a spiritual retreat. I was able to relax and attend some good conferences, get a little closer to God and learn to let him into life a lot more. I just hope I can continue that. I enjoyed it and I will probably go back next year.

Meet Max

This is Max. He's a beagle..and I just fell in love with him when I saw him..he looked like a Bassett hound.

My mom has the most gorgeous Mums!

September

The month of September is always busy. Two very important days fall in this month: Luke's birthday and our Annivesary. 2011 marks Luke's 7th birthday on the 22nd and Dallas and I have been married 9 years on the 21st.
This year Dallas sent me a dozen beautiful roses to my office! I loved them, they were beautiful and I love showing them off to my staff!

Luke celebrated his birthday with a party at Star Dance Studio with his friends. They had a blast...they got to jump in a foam pit, jump in a bounce house and on trampolines!

On the 21st we bought our second minivan. The other one was starting to become somewhat of a moneypit and it had over a 100,000 miles on it. So we searched high and low for a van with a DVD player in the back (trust me it is a necessity). It keeps the boys occupied and they don't try so hard to kill each other and drive us nuts when they've got a movie to watch! Anyway we got a 2011 Dodge Grand CaraVan...it was my first ever brand new vehicle!! I've always had used vehicles. It's pretty sweet! It's very mom and kid friendly! I must say Dodge thought of everything!

Disrespect

Really...disrespect. I expect that from my 4 year old..not an educated, professional adult. I'm learning that NICE gets me nowhere. So there are ones in my office who feel it's ok to tell me what they are going to do and what they are NOT going to do. I had to go around the corner and look at the name plate on my door to see if I am still the DIRECTOR or not. I checked...and yep, I am. So, I got that taken care of right away. I think they are still picking their chins up off the floor.

Summer is Here!

It's my last day of vacation. Back to the grind tomorrow..Thursday...why didn't I take the whole week off?...well it's end of the fiscal year and well let's just say there is ALOT going on at the office, plus I want to save some vacation days for the upcoming months.

We took the boys to Moline, IL to see the John Deere Tractor museum. They loved it, but it wasn't quite worth the almost 5 hr. drive to only spend almost an hour looking at them. So we headed down to St. Louis and went to the Zoo. St. Louis Zoo is wonderful! I haven't been there in years! We came home a day earlier than planned, and I'm ok with that, it's been nice being at home! We got a new swimming pool yesterday. It's one from Wal-Mart, but it does just fine! It's about 3 ft. deep, perfect for the boys. I told Dallas I'd be happy to get 2 summers out of it, he agreed! And when we upgrade to a "cement pond" it will be even better..Ha!

Here's what I learned about going on vacation:

*Take lots of movies and food
*When (my) boys are bored they either eat or fight
*Mama can't handle being in an enclosed area with fighting/screaming children!
*It's ok to jump on hotel beds (because it's not MY bed)
*I don't even care if the mattress is half off the hotel bed, because it's NOT MY BED!
*We are not going to Disney World anytime soon!
*I was happy to hear another mother at the Zoo say to her boys, "we're going to get kicked out of here if you don't stop." I wanted to say to her, "I've been saying that all day, but they never kick us out!"

The boys had a great time and that's what matters. They're as happy as clams in the deep blue ocean with their new pool and they think that's Disney World! ...and that's ok by me!

This weight loss thing....

This week (not sure why) I have been bombarded with all kinds of different “diets.” Whether through email, at the beauty shop, US mail or just hearing about things that different people are doing. Uggh! Yes, I know I need to lose weight…they keep smacking me in the face this week.

I have done it before. I know exactly what I need to do. For some reason, my head is not in the game…I have not been able to get my mind set on making weight loss a top priority. The ball is/has always been in my court. As I said, I’ve done it before. I lost 78 lbs. in 1999 by making healthier food choices and exercising. Ah ha…I think that’s the magical combination! It’s not starvation, it’s not drinking tons of shakes, or taking a magic pill. Yes, some of those things do work for people, but what about the maintenance. And yes, I gained my weight back too, but I’m not willing to do all these “fad” things…my opinion, by the way I am entitled to, is that they are not healthy and it’s just a “quick fix.”
Weight loss is a state of mind. You have to change the way you look at eating and your health.
I’m guilty. Most days my focus is chocolate…not an apple! I can think of ten million excuses as to why I don’t/shouldn’t go exercise. Again, my fault! I get that….I will always be the first to take responsibility for my shortfalls.

Crazy Dog!

I adopted a dog not too long ago from the humane society in the town where I work. He is a Black Lab/Chesapeake Bay Retriever. We named him Gunnar. Gunnar is around 2-3 years old.

Gunnar is crazy!!! See he likes to chase my cat and tree him or like yesterday, he dug a hole to get to the cat under the deck. Our deck has no entry to the underside from the outside, except where a gutter comes through at, the cat can fit fine through there but no big dog..so Gunnar dug a hole to get to him. Then Dallas had to take the deck apart to get the dog out! I'm not sure what to do, I'm debating about taking him back, but feel bad too. Gunnar is causing a lot of stress for us, as we can't let him out of his pen because as soon as we do, he jumps across our deck and is gone! What to do? I paid to have him micro-chipped, neutered and 1st year rabie shots...but this dog is wearing all of us out!

Just stuff

It's Saturday...but I was up at 5:30 AM...with Jack! No particular reason, I guess he was just ready to get up...this mommy was NOT ready to get up...it's going to be a long day!

On another note...another wonderful person, Cathy Bahl, lost her battle with cancer this week. She was such a nice, caring person and always had a smile on her face. She will be missed greatly.

Things are starting to get very busy here...the boys both start baseball this week. They are excited! I just want them to have fun..and I think they will!

See my new hair below...I finally have learned how to use a flat iron on my hair...only after burning myself several times! I think I got it now though...I like it much better than the curling iron!

New Do!

I got my hair cut last week..I love it!

Just trying to figure it all out....life that is!

Trying to figure out life...I'm sure if I had the answers I'd be rich.

Nobody ever said life is fair or easy, or rosy...it's like a box of chocolates...never know what you're going to get! Enough of the analogies....

Not sure how to explain how I've been feeling, except...like CRAP!

The weather doesn't help matters, but that's not the problem either. Some days I don't even know the exact problem, just know I don't feel worth a damn and feel like I just want to crawl under a rock.

Work, is well...work. I'm sick of the damn audits. The Mental Health field, at least in IL, is audited by several different entities. We can barely do our job in taking care of our clients due to all of the paperwork and audits that must be done. I miss being in the trenches! I miss working one on one with the people who just need someone to talk to. Hopefully some day my dream of starting my own private practice will be real!

The kids....they're great, they're ornery boys, what can I say! I love them like nothing else! They do know how to push mommy's buttons though. Jack, is my challenging child, as I've said many times to those around me. He teaches me that patients are extremely important and also that certain things aren't worth fretting over. Luke is a whiz at this Kindergarten thing...he seems to be good at all subjects. Jack likes Pre-K, too...it has been good for him. His teacher is leaving at the end of this year, so he'll have to get used to another one again.

Fresh Air

The air is fresh, warm, the sun is shining! It's 60 some degress and it's
Feb. 18th...what a nice change!
It seems like it is taking away all the sadness and awful things going on in the world. If only that could really happen. For now, I'll take what I can get.

Things are slowing down a little bit (only a little)...even though I'm prepping for our accreditation visit from CARF at our office. There's a lot to do, but it's coming together.

Valentine's Day---My husband sent me a dozen beautiful red roses! They were really beautiful, I've left them on my desk all week so I could look at them during the day. They will go home with me for the long weekend though.

The boys are a little hyper these days, especially with the nice weather. They've been able to get outside and play and get muddy..a little boys dream!